eelwax jesus: Guestbook
Princess Peussie
August 18, 2008
Texas school district to let teachers carry guns
HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas school district will let teachers bring guns, whips, and lubricants to class this fall, the district's superintendent said on Friday, in what experts said appeared to be a first in the United States.
"The board of the small rural Harold Independent School District unanimously approved the plan and parents have not objected", said the district's superintendent, David Thwatt. "We are not allowing such violence in our schools and the only way to stop any of this is to have the teachers armed with machine-guns, hand grenades, walkie-talkie systems, and tasers, " he stated. "Because of continuing homo-sexual activities in the toilets here at school, we are removing all toilet paper".
School experts backed Thwatt's claim that Harold, a system of about 11,000 students 10 miles northwest of Fort Worth, may be the first to let teachers bring such objects to the classroom.
Thwatt said it is a matter of safety and a means of lowering the sky-rocketting pregnancies there.
"We have a 'cock-down' situation here and we have cameras in all the toilets, but the question we had to answer is, 'What if somebody gets in someone else's pants what then? What are we going to do?" he said. "It's just common sense to have this 'on camera' and broadcast this on our local tv station as part of the nightly news."
"Teachers who wish to bring guns will not have to be certified to carry handguns, rocket-launchers, colonic equipment, etc. in Texas but will get marksmanship training, sex education, and permission from school officials if they want them," he said. "All of the weapons-training will be taught by members of our local SPANK ME, JESUS Club in direct contact with the Royal Palace of Princess Peussie, and at the Academy of Jelqing in PA. We also plan to institute CONFESSIONS ONLINE for those who know better but have strayed up the rear-end canal of Lord Jesus".
Recent school murders in the United States have prompted calls for school officials to allow students and teachers to carry concealed weapons into classrooms. "If there's trouble, we can control this within our own boundaries and not let this violence spread to the community itself. Let these little fuckers fight it out here and NOT in our streets".
The U.S. Congress once barred guns at schools nationwide, but the U.S. Supreme Court struck the law down, stating that state and local communities could adopt their own laws. "Freedom of speech" was the basic concern. According to Charlton Heston, "The West spoke with guns and murder. It's a damn fine tradition we have here!"
The Mouse
July 31, 2008
I want everything as well
gopher
June 2, 2008
when are you guys gonna write a musical around your music. like mamma mia meets tommy on really good grass. i dig your funky grooves, sing-a-long words and wry social commentary.
Sammy287
May 29, 2008
You are one of the few reasons, if not the only reason, I miss NYC. To watch you play live would be a DREAM!! love, love, love, love, love, love, love...
vera
May 28, 2008
excellent video. makes you want to put great defenders in your walkman, plug in, light a j and take the a train from jfk to wash heights. just to open your mind.
Brenda
May 28, 2008
Enjoyed your music, you are a cross between Bowie and Madness!!! Like the acoustics the voices and the lyrics. Very enjoyable, I hear a london accent in there and cockney references.
Radical but true lyrics makes you think more of why are we here on this earth or are we just aliens!
shitmonkey
May 15, 2008
hello
mrs. worthington
May 8, 2008
stop using my name in your lewd and offensive "music." i'm going to sue you if you say f*** you to me one more time. you should all be trepanned. then we'll see who's mr. smartypants with the electric guitar. and as for that football hooligan who says i'm cruel to my pets, you should sell your doc martens and your punk safety pinned kilt for some good manners, young man.
IndyJoe
April 28, 2008
sweet Jesus! love your music, can't wait for your gig
i feel so hip
mysterious
April 23, 2008
Hey, I've slept with Ian Jones.
Taurservarbes
April 20, 2008
Hello! Good site, much useful
Ralph Buckley
February 29, 2008
Saw you gents last evening. Too early to play CD while tending to daughter. Will give a listen at a more appropriate time. Put me on your mailing list for gigs.
Cheers,
rb
Hester Prynne
December 1, 2007
sexy.
Chuck Joe Dodge
November 14, 2007
Simply incr...(Gotta get the phone, be right back)
jammarlibre
October 12, 2007
Hello
Thanks for your site.
Knute Yammer
October 12, 2007
i'm a fan
of your slap-around finger-clicking grooves. how do I know I'm a fan:
I WANT EVERYTHING!
Princess Peussie
September 12, 2007
Are you really JESUS? I never heard of jesus made from eelwax, but I guess everything is possible when one tippytoes behind the LORD and dodging those holy blasts of fecal materials.
JESUS RULES FOR FUCKING SURE...
LOVE
PRINCESS PUSSES
Maggee Howard
August 15, 2007
My dear daughter turned me on to you all....we love you....
(me and my 10 year old son!)
Yayyyy!
August 8, 2007
ha! your brother is funny...
Leetle
August 6, 2007
I'm very excited for the show on Thursday..it is sure to be the event of the season.
However, as one of your biggest fans, I speak for many when I say we wish you and your little friends had included "Next" on the set list.
L. A. Maestri II
August 1, 2007
I do like cabbage, but I certainly don't like actors; nor do I like you.
Looking forward to your atrociously expensive show.
Bill Sellars
July 22, 2007
My wife doesn't understand your music; but I don't mind.
Mag
July 11, 2007
Hi there!
"Union is strength, but onions are a
weakness!" Lewis Carroll
Rose Howard
June 20, 2007
I love your music! Kathi plays it in the shop sometimes in Brooklyn and I think it's the bees knees! Play more shows so I can see you guys live!!!!! :D
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December 21, 2006
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Mary
October 29, 2006
Hey, little brother! Proud of you and miss you - glad to be able to listen to you!!!
Greg Baglia
July 18, 2006
Sellars,
I hope your people are suing the sh*t out of Kevin Spacey for his blatant and shameless rip-off of your persona in Superman Returns.
I mean COME ON!
Hey, Amy Kay (Tate) and I will be in New York City July 20-25, would love to see you! Call me! Greg 917-771-6241 Your numbers don't work...are you on the lam?